Pokeys Dad

So here I sit on Fathers day writing an article about Fatherhood. A week ago I was looking for a job to fill the time when I would not be taking care of my daughter and the job offer comes the day before I go off on a 2 day camping trip. I guess that is one of the mysteries of life, that when you are most busy is when good things happen. But when you are idle, the phone never rings.

But I digress.

Fatherhood has an elusive definition. Try to Google it and you will see what I mean. Some may think of the role as the rule maker, enforcer and provider; molded on the Victorian ideal of how men and women should act, or perhaps, a man considers his role to be one where men do not speak much, but when they do, it is with authority. Having a toddler will certainly challenge that belief. I might muster my best Father knows best tone, only to be shushed by my 3 year old.

I know that recently the role of Father has become synonymous with incompetence, (think Homer Simpson). In our modern age the role of Dad has devolved into one of a comic punch line. But one cannot look to Hollywood for role models as there are far too many bad examples of fathers, real and invented, so the few exceptional dads are all but eclipsed.

So where does that leave us enlightened men of San Francisco to carve out our personal definitions and find our role models? I suggest a camping trip to help you get back to basics. You will have to: Pack up the car with everything you will need for the duration of your adventure; set up shelter and cook food for your family, all while fending off large raccoons and swarms of mosquitoes.  Then break it all down-pack it all up and drive everyone home in time for school and work on Monday.

While no man can be all things to all people, on a camping trip you can be the man who fed and sheltered his family. No matter how you come to define it, Fatherhood is a state of being which each man needs to discover in his own way.

I titled this article with a quote from Corinthians about how you give up childish ways when you become a man, but I think that a later part of the passage is what resonates most with me, and substitute Dad or Papa for Love.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. .-1 Corinthians 13